You’re probably wondering why I got divorced. There’s the old cliche that marriage isn’t for everybody, but that wasn’t the case for me. I liked being married. I just didn’t like being married to my ex. He was messy. He was addicted to online gaming. He didn’t care about anything or anyone as much as he cared about himself. He was always angry about something, and if he wasn’t, he was sure to be at any moment. I was sick of walking on eggshells all the time. I was sick of having no social life. I was sick of never having my opinion or my feelings matter. I was sick of every single conversation turning into a giant screaming match. I was sick of being treated like a maid/nanny/nuisance.
So I told him it was over. I honestly don’t think he believed me. I hardly believed it myself, until my dad showed up four days later with my uncle, two of my brothers, and a trailer hooked up to the Jeep. I had nothing packed and my ex had called in sick to work that day, so he was home, playing video games, as usual. It was hard to pack with an 8 month old needing my constant attention, but somehow, we managed to get the majority of the things I needed loaded up and were on our way in a few hours. My ex cried and begged me to stay, which broke my heart even more than it was already broken. But I couldn’t stay. We were both so unhappy. No offense, The Beatles, but love is NOT all you need. Apparently, respect, and communication, and kindness are pretty important, too. And a slow temper. And not caring about World of Warcraft more than your wife and child. Don’t forget about those. But that doesn’t make a very good song.
Even though I moved out, it was about a month before I filed for divorce. I think at first I secretly wished we would work it out, even though I desperately just wanted it all to be over already. The final straw for me was when I dropped our 9 month old son, Liam, off at his dad’s for an hour so I could go to the chiropractor, and he had a woman sleeping over. In our bed. Even though he knew I was coming over. I went that same day and filed for divorce. I wasn’t sure what had been stopping me before, but whatever it had been, it was gone. Of course he tried to tell me that “nothing had happened,” and that they were “just friends.” I didn’t really care if he was being honest with me or not. Having another woman sleep with him in our bed totally cancelled out any sort of marriage contract we might have still had and made me absolutely, 100% sure that our marriage was completely over.
And I never looked back.
P.S. Just so all of you don’t think that I am absolutely perfect (I mean, you can think that if you want, I guess,) but I made mistakes, too. I knew what I was getting myself into, and I still married him, not realizing how long until death really is. Let me tell you – with the wrong guy, that is an unbearably long time. Also, I ate his ice cream a few times and pretended I didn’t. I’m sure there were other things, too, like passive-aggressively putting post-it notes on everything he left lying around the house, and things like that, but those are the main things. I just didn’t want you to get the wrong idea about me.